thoughts of a troubled soul
by evil-tala
Summary: no yaoi! just things.. not all good things mind you.. Kai contemplates on what death would be like after a bad day... R+R please onegai-shimasu!!!


thoughts of a troubled soul.  
  
disclaimer: FANFICTION, ppl! _  
  
a/n: this was kinda just a spur of the moment fic, so dun worry if it duzn't make any sence whatsoever.  
  
kai: ur fics are always spur of the moment.....  
  
me: o_O *falls over anime style*  
  
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His bad day had gotten worse. The crimson-eyed teenager fell onto his back in a small living room in Voltaire's mansion. A fancy ceiling above him, and the light globe was covered by an equally fancy shade, a glass ball.  
  
[If that fell on me right now, the glass would shatter and definitely cause some damage....] The boy thought, subconsciously getting his hopes up.  
  
Staring blankly at the ceiling, h could feel a cold draught on his outstretched arms. A pleasant draught, and the irritating heater on his other side.  
  
[If I lie here long enough, could I die? Dehydration more than anything....] He ran a hand through the mess of slate-coloured hair, resting it once again on the floor beside himself.  
  
[I wonder how long it would take for me to decompose?] He could hear traffic on the main road just outside.  
  
[Would anyone notice? Care?] The fancy ceiling was beginning to annoy him.  
  
[I'm driving myself insane. I need to talk about this...] The phone rang. He sat bolt upright and grabbed it. Salesman trying to sell something. He hung up and went back to his previous position, lying on the floor and staring at the roof.  
  
[It wouldn't matter. Everything would catch up to me eventually...] He thought about running, about leaving this place and everyone he knew behind. No use, no logic behind a reason, simply to escape.  
  
[Never going to happen. Life sucks too much to ever make sense...] Another thought shot through his head.  
  
[Do I even have friends? Or do they stick by me because Dikinson told them to......?] A rather unpleasant thought, but not one that could be entirely false.  
  
[What happens if I touch the heater? Will it burn through my skin quickly.....?] He could almost smell it from just the thought.  
  
[If not, will the draught freeze me....?] A mental image of the man scientists had found frozen for years on Everest.  
  
[Is it possible to die from boredom....?] He had been lying there for half an hour.  
  
[Possible to just stop functioning? With no provocation.....?] Was he beginning to go mad? Or were these thoughts coming from somewhere else?  
  
[Is it possible to just disappear? Vanish, never to be seen again...?] That would be all right. Then all his problems would be solved.  
  
[Would touching the heater be able to burst a vein? Could I just lie here and bleed to death....?] Bleeding wouldn't be too bad. Then he could mess up one of Voltaire's many mansions.  
  
[Would bleeding hurt? Sure I guess you'd feel your brain begin to freeze....then would you be able to feel your heart stop? Or would you be dead by then....?] He didn't know, but found himself wanting to find out. Words stirred in his mind, a song he had heard.  
  
[Save me from the nothing I've become. Nothing. Am I nothing? Am I just a waste of space in the Universe.....?] After almost an hour, a small sigh escaped. His lips parted, speaking to no one in particular. Four small words that made up a terrible sentence.  
  
"Let me die now....."  
  
A knock on the door. A smaller figure than him peeked through. One with ebony hair and gold eyes, blinking in surprise.  
  
"Kai?"  
  
He sat up so fast that he caused himself to feel dizzy.  
  
"Rei? Who let you in?" He asked in a tired voice.  
  
"No one. We all just kinda....climbed through an open window..."  
  
The rest of the BladeBreakers entered the room.  
  
"Are you ok?" Takao asked.  
  
"Fine.....anou....just....anou....resting."  
  
Takao shrugged.  
  
[If only you all knew. If only you all knew I was slowly being eaten inside........by something unknown, confusing......I don't know why I want to die. It just seems...logical at this time though.....]  
  
Owari.  
  
a/n: *sigh* why du I always make kai depressed???  
  
tala: good question.  
  
me: *falls off chair* tala? hey! I got a new muse! ^_^  
  
tala: o_O what duz that mean??  
  
me: it means ur stuck here for a very long time. *grins evilly*  
  
tala: *walks off and hides in corner* wait...can i just mention somthing?  
  
me: *sighs* shoot.  
  
tala: tala-chan also disclaims the fact she used seven words from an evanescence song.  
  
me: *looks sheepish* ok...that too. *walks off and continues listning to her evanescence album currently playing 'tourniquet' during her media lesson* 


End file.
